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It's Totally Okay to Feel Angry

Let's talk about anger. Anger is a completely natural emotion and while sometimes it is expressed in unhealthy ways, it is totally okay to feel angry every now and then.

Let me say that again…it’s okay to feel angry sometimes. Feelings of anger are a normal and healthy part of being human. Learning to avoid all anger would be an impossible goal.

I have talked with many women who believe that feeling angry is wrong. And what happens is that they end up repressing their anger, burying it away and not allowing themselves to process it.

The problem is, when we suppress anger, it will find some way to come out and it usually reveals itself as self-pity, sullenness, depression, sarcasm, and worse.

Anger negatively affects both our physical and emotional health. Physically, anger contributes to problems such as high blood pressure and heart attacks. Emotionally, anger contributes to anxiety, depression, and drug and alcohol use.

We think if we ignore our anger, it will go away or disappear, but as you may already be aware, it actually festers.

“Getting your anger out” is harmful as well because punching a pillow, throwing a dish against the wall, or freaking out at whoever or whatever is in our way rarely makes us feel better, at least in the long run.

Did you know that anger is a secondary emotion which means that there is usually a primary emotion lying underneath? It’s been compared to an iceberg since anger can be seen more easily than the emotions it is masking.

Anger is like a shield that protects us from feeling those primary emotions, because quite often those are more difficult to feel. I'm talking about hurt, betrayal, overwhelm, sadness, frustration, and more. To express any of these primary emotions takes letting down your guard and becoming vulnerable.

Being vulnerable is risky and so it's much safer to express your feelings in the form of anger. However, sometimes, anger is just anger, which again is okay to feel.

I created this video to share with you ways to manage your anger so that it doesn't get the best of you:

We express our anger through words, actions, art, or any number of other ways. Do you express your anger in any healthy ways, and if so, what are they? What do you think might happen if you never expressed your anger?

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